When my mother got Cancer…..

My mother was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer a year ago. This has been a challenging time for our whole family and we still don’t  know what the outcome will be. It has been a deep emotional journey for me and in many ways it has been a blessings because it has pushed me deeper into my Kundalini yoga practice to find the strength, clarity and inner resources that I have needed at this time. I honestly don’t know how I would have managed this year without it.

Initially when I found out my mother had cancer, I went into a deep state of terror. My father was also declining and I had had a difficult 6 months with a sick child.  It stirred up many feelings of desperation; wanting my mother to come to me and her not being there. I had often experienced that sense of falling that comes from needing to be emotionally held as a child and not getting it.

This particular day, I had the foresight and awareness to ask myself why I was getting angry and frustrated with little things in my life. When I gave myself the space to breathe deeply into those feelings I began to shake and cry and realised that the anger was the cover for the desperation I had felt when I was a small child. I had gained an important insight that day. Breathing deeply into the body is something that I teach in my Kundalini Yoga classes and in my Bodytalk sessions with clients. It is a very powerful tool.

Introducing Kundalini Yoga to my Life

It has been my daily practice of Kundalini Yoga that has held me up this past year. I have been amazed at my capacity to remain grounded through the turbulence. I have experienced a deep resource from within. With both parents ill, the prospect of loosing both my parents shook me to the core. All the security I had known was falling away and there was nothing on the outside to grab hold of. With questions marks over my living situation, my daughter’s health and my parents health I could have experienced an inner collapse. Indeed at the beginning of the year, I had felt like I was heading for a breakdown.

However things began to change when I started my level two teacher training in Kundalini yoga in 2014. A shift began to happen within myself, where I began to feel supported and held by life despite the difficult circumstances.

Prayer pose brings balance to the mind and both hemispheres of brain

I have found this strength, resilience, grace and trust in the process through Kundalini Yoga. I can honestly say that I would not have been able to move through this year in the same way without my daily practice. It has held me up. It has enabled me to move from a place of terror to a trust and surrender in the process of life and death. Kundalini Yoga has allowed me to experience what it is to be a servant of the soul and when we are listening, deeply listening, the answers are always within. What I know for sure is that there is not really death.

There is only infinity and I experienced that deeply within myself during my practice many times.

Spirituality in Kundalini Yoga

People talk about God. I know that God resides in us as a state of being where there is no separation, only Oneness. This may sound a bit ‘new agey’. It is hard to put into words an experience which is unlimited. This sense of Oneness is a blissful state. It has helped me accept the current situation and to experience life beyond the black and white of every day living and see the blessing in every situation. I has helped me let go.

We are all exceptional beings and we can all experience this sense of oneness and guidance from the soul. There are many paths to finding this place. However if you are a little bit curious, I invite you to know more about Kundalini yoga. It has changed me deeply from a fearful person to radiant person. It has allowed me to carve out my inner light and shine despite all that is happening in my world. You can shine too. You too have the capacity to live a happy and healthy life no matter what life throws at you. You have to start with the first step; commitment. As Yogi Bhajan says ‘Keep up and you will be kept up.’

Are you ready to shine?

  • Jotipal Kaur is teaching a number of workshop in Frome and Salisbury.
  • Kundalini Yoga and Gong; releasing toxicity and lymph of the breasts: 11th April 2-5pm
  • Kundalini Yoga and Raw Food lunch; releasing fear and anger: 2nd May 10am-2pm
  • Kundalini Yoga and Raw cakes; finding our Joy! 6th June 2-5pm.

please contact Jotipal Kaur for booking here.


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